I'VE SEEN SOME THINGS THAT A WOMAN AIN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE

The real salt of the earth people are hard to find. Those who espouse the essence of substance over superficiality. I hold these people with the highest regard. Save my family and dear friends, I have been defined as she who's not as shallow as everyone thinks. All because I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see-- that, I consider as something which is thinned between compliment and censure.

I can eat like a king, may speak in the language of the streets. You can hear my sentences punctuated with expressions from the vernacular, and i don't prance around in wings and halo with the message from the Almighty. I may not have a squeaky clean image. Basically, I'm not the Belle-of-the-soirée-material. I live in a world that I made my self believe in, not in a fantasy about people and places as I'd like them to be.

Sometimes, I wish I can just run in a fast paced world and jump of a crucial cliff without a scratch-- all for the excitement of the heart, and that I can go on without acknowledging the presence of others. But I wasn't raised to be selfish, although I know I am at times.

I want to be in some place peaceful, because I have always dreamed of a peaceful haven. Lie still in an open field filled with purple and yellow roses, green grass and white dandelions being carried by the Christmas breeze. All that, as I get a load of the simple wonders of the world. Imagining a baby in my arms, that man I fought with this morning and that same one I'm going to make love to the night after. Thoughts of serenity.

I wish that someone had told me what I am telling you now. It would have been easier that way. Like how I would have led my life if I hadn't been lured away by false ideas. Today is just one of the many days that I have been thinking a lot. I can see so much, hear so much. I have seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see. Sometimes I hate feeling this way, but not today. Not today.

P.S.
I made this entry with so much thoughts and emotions, I can almost touch them. So, bear with me now. 'Cause I know tomorrow, I will laugh at how I felt today. Ironic.